This morning I watched a movie called "The Switch" with Jennifer Aniston and Jason Bateman. I'm sure you heard of the premise...best friends, girl wants to have a baby sans man, boy gets drunk and dumps donation of sperm in sink, fills it with his..tells girl that baby is his..girl realizes her love for him..happily ever after. During the movie, there are many times where the guy (Wally) is just going through the motions of life alone. Living alone, being alone on the train, feeling alone on a crowded NYC sidewalk. That's it...I'm going to be Wally.
Understand that I fucked up my life. And what will become of my life I truly do not know. Maybe I will end up with the girl of my dreams. Or maybe and most likely, I will end up in a relationship out of boredom. I don't know how to be single. I think I can do it but I always end up sitting alone somewhere I think I should be. For example, I went to a pro baseball game not long after this whole thing went down. 30,000 people there. All rooting for the local team as was I. But I didn't speak to one damn person besides the counter people at the concession stand. Not a hi, not a hello, not a WOW, did you see that play? Nothing. The other night, I left my STBe in the house and decided to go watch the game at the Applebee's down the road. Sat at the bar. Not that there were a lot of people to talk to but again, not a word.
Now this shocks the people I have told because I have been told I am such an extrovert. Which I am. I love talking to people but right now, I just can't seem to get any conversations going. The other thing I noticed during the movie is how I miss NYC. Maybe that should be where I move to next.
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